My husband is an irrationally peaceful person. By irrationally, I mean irritatingly peaceful. The world could literally crumble at his feet, and he would calmly bend over, and pick up whatever pieces he could, pat me on the back and kiss my forehead as it spins on it's axis of a neck. I suppose that I would have passed on by aneurysm by now had I not married him, because I am WIRED.TO.THE.CORE.
My intentions are always to help. To be "good". But even our most honest of attempts to help and be just, can be harmful.
Time out. Ironically enough, as I began to type this blog, I heard a chirping come from the kitchen, and upon walking out there, saw my kitten crouched in front of the stove. Chills went up my spine. Another chirp and I realized that there was SOMETHING under the stove. I jumped over the baby gate while sternly asking (which is just a nice way of putting "demanding") my husband to get up because SOMETHING was under the stove and I wished not to have another mouse massacre in this house. (We had a mouse months ago- Which our cat "took care of". It was disgusting). At any rate- He ever so calmly got off of the couch, moved towards the kitchen, and laid down to observe what might have taken refuge under the stove. I brought him a flashlight that he asked for and he again- Ever so calmly and smoothly removed the drawer under the oven. Out ran a little chipmunk- I screamed and yelled about the cat and the small vermin running about my kitchen, he with a type of ease that I do not possess, walked out to the porch to ensure that the small creature had indeed made his way out, and had it not, to catch him and make him his new friend. Me= Fretful, Husband= Peaceful.
Peace. When told about having a peace as a child I associated it with "shutting up and not being loud. As a teenager, with trust during times of turmoil. But it really is so very much more than that. Peace is letting go even during the calm, and knowing that God is ultimately in control, that your life is not your own, and that no matter what, He is just in all things. Peace is a character trait to me. It is a disposition- Not just a state of mind.
Paul said:
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."
Romans 8:6
You might not be a "spiritual" or "religious" person, but even the most impervious of agnostics or atheists can believe that to concentrate on one's circumstances or others' circumstances with such a tendency to become weighted is harmful for a persons well-being; Spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. You can be a part of a persons life, you can help without needing to take that burden, without forfeiting your own peace. You can be attentive to your own needs, and the needs of those you care for and love- Without forfeiting your own peace.
So what is really at the root of NEEDING to make things your own? Can it really be selfishness with the motive of being selfless? Is the attempt to be selfless for the sake of another entirely selfish? Are their "crosses" really ours to bear in the first place? What would really make me SO important and so strong to think that they are? Whose throne am I thrusting myself onto, to feel and act in such a way?
God desires peace for us. So that we can be better focused on sufficiently serving Him. So that we can be content in our lives with what we have. So that we can experience joy. All battles are not ours to fight, and even those that are ours to fight- They do not demand a heavyhearted reaction, but perhaps one that offers the circumstances up to Him, who can heal, who can work, who can solve beyond our wildest attempts and expectations.
Another attempt at making sense probably gone terribly askew. Felt good to get on the soapbox again, regardless.
Rach
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