For weeks, months or even years now, I have found myself wondering if it is normal to feel as though you have to force a friendship to work. If you are a "bad friend" for allowing relationships to extinguish over time. There was a time- Up until recently where I would have said that indeed, a true friend tries, a true friend takes the time to be there, to take an interest in the others' life. I suppose that I still believe this, but perhaps it really DOES take two. I can't say that I am really speaking of any one relationship in particular, here. More a collection of them, in my own life as well as others. Sometimes I just.want.to.quit. I do believe that maybe that is the right thing to do, nowadays. Do I really need to TRY to be a persons friend, without the attempt on the other side? I think not. I think it should just be there. To aid in my reflection, I looked up the meaning of the word "friend" in an online dictionary- I found this:
"A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amīcus "friend" and amō "I love" is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend" and phileō "I love." In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frēond, the Old English word for "friend," was simply the present participle of the verb frēon, "to love." The Germanic root behind this verb is *frī-, which meant "to like, love, be friendly to." Closely linked to these concepts is that of "peace," and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that."
Really, exploring the definition helped me little. I just thought that it was neat. The one thing that did provide help of my concerns was this- The use of the word "verb". A verb indicates action. Love is an action, and the word "love" and it's close relationship to the word "friend" tells me that perhaps, I was correct. I don't need to be the charity friend. I don't want to be- I want to be the real friend. I want my loved one's to feel that they are loved- That I want to act out that love- Not merely keep up old habits.
I realized that my thoughts are convoluted. I realize that they could very well hurt a persons feelings. If that were the case- I am sorry, and you are better to just ask me about any concerns, as this is just another one of my over analyzed thoughts. : )
Lovely day today. We went to my home church for a picnic, and visit with some family and friends. It has been so long that I forgot how at ease I feel there. I miss the city. Even the somewhat city. Just get me out of this country-side already!!!
Abrupt closing here, but I am exhausted.
Over and out!
Rach
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3 comments:
I've wondered the same things at times. I think that's it's okay to let a relationship lapse. In fact, I think there are times when it's healthy to do that. I think every situation is different. I think there comes a point when if you're the only one trying, you have to just give up. You and I have a mutual friend that I experienced that with; I felt like I was the only one calling to hang out, but once we were together, I was the only one listening.I think I came to the conclusion that unless I feel that the person really needs me and is just afraid or unable to ask, then it's okay to let it go. Also, if I feel that a friendship is not building me up or is getting me tangled in things that I don't want to be involved with, then it's okay to let go. Anyway, those are my thoughts on the issue. I enjoyed reading your blog post; very insightful and very well-written.
I hate that there was a type-o in that! "I think that it's okay."
Thanks for your thoughts, Lo! It's so hard too- To let go... But you are right. After a while, when a relationship becomes "toxic" or when there is more work being put in on one side, than the other. It is just time to let go. It's a sad reality and one that I find myself frequently bucking up against.
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