Love is a verb. So is friendship.

For weeks, months or even years now, I have found myself wondering if it is normal to feel as though you have to force a friendship to work. If you are a "bad friend" for allowing relationships to extinguish over time. There was a time- Up until recently where I would have said that indeed, a true friend tries, a true friend takes the time to be there, to take an interest in the others' life. I suppose that I still believe this, but perhaps it really DOES take two. I can't say that I am really speaking of any one relationship in particular, here. More a collection of them, in my own life as well as others. Sometimes I just.want.to.quit. I do believe that maybe that is the right thing to do, nowadays. Do I really need to TRY to be a persons friend, without the attempt on the other side? I think not. I think it should just be there. To aid in my reflection, I looked up the meaning of the word "friend" in an online dictionary- I found this:

"A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amīcus "friend" and amō "I love" is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend" and phileō "I love." In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frēond, the Old English word for "friend," was simply the present participle of the verb frēon, "to love." The Germanic root behind this verb is *frī-, which meant "to like, love, be friendly to." Closely linked to these concepts is that of "peace," and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that."

Really, exploring the definition helped me little. I just thought that it was neat. The one thing that did provide help of my concerns was this- The use of the word "verb". A verb indicates action. Love is an action, and the word "love" and it's close relationship to the word "friend" tells me that perhaps, I was correct. I don't need to be the charity friend. I don't want to be- I want to be the real friend. I want my loved one's to feel that they are loved- That I want to act out that love- Not merely keep up old habits.

I realized that my thoughts are convoluted. I realize that they could very well hurt a persons feelings. If that were the case- I am sorry, and you are better to just ask me about any concerns, as this is just another one of my over analyzed thoughts. : )

Lovely day today. We went to my home church for a picnic, and visit with some family and friends. It has been so long that I forgot how at ease I feel there. I miss the city. Even the somewhat city. Just get me out of this country-side already!!!

Abrupt closing here, but I am exhausted.

Over and out!

Rach

Peace

Today I want to talk about peace. Why? Peace is something that we are near commanded to have, but comes with such testing of such. I struggle with peace.

My husband is an irrationally peaceful person. By irrationally, I mean irritatingly peaceful. The world could literally crumble at his feet, and he would calmly bend over, and pick up whatever pieces he could, pat me on the back and kiss my forehead as it spins on it's axis of a neck. I suppose that I would have passed on by aneurysm by now had I not married him, because I am WIRED.TO.THE.CORE.

My intentions are always to help. To be "good". But even our most honest of attempts to help and be just, can be harmful.

Time out. Ironically enough, as I began to type this blog, I heard a chirping come from the kitchen, and upon walking out there, saw my kitten crouched in front of the stove. Chills went up my spine. Another chirp and I realized that there was SOMETHING under the stove. I jumped over the baby gate while sternly asking (which is just a nice way of putting "demanding") my husband to get up because SOMETHING was under the stove and I wished not to have another mouse massacre in this house. (We had a mouse months ago- Which our cat "took care of". It was disgusting). At any rate- He ever so calmly got off of the couch, moved towards the kitchen, and laid down to observe what might have taken refuge under the stove. I brought him a flashlight that he asked for and he again- Ever so calmly and smoothly removed the drawer under the oven. Out ran a little chipmunk- I screamed and yelled about the cat and the small vermin running about my kitchen, he with a type of ease that I do not possess, walked out to the porch to ensure that the small creature had indeed made his way out, and had it not, to catch him and make him his new friend. Me= Fretful, Husband= Peaceful.

Peace. When told about having a peace as a child I associated it with "shutting up and not being loud. As a teenager, with trust during times of turmoil. But it really is so very much more than that. Peace is letting go even during the calm, and knowing that God is ultimately in control, that your life is not your own, and that no matter what, He is just in all things. Peace is a character trait to me. It is a disposition- Not just a state of mind.

Paul said:

"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."
Romans 8:6

You might not be a "spiritual" or "religious" person, but even the most impervious of agnostics or atheists can believe that to concentrate on one's circumstances or others' circumstances with such a tendency to become weighted is harmful for a persons well-being; Spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. You can be a part of a persons life, you can help without needing to take that burden, without forfeiting your own peace. You can be attentive to your own needs, and the needs of those you care for and love- Without forfeiting your own peace.

So what is really at the root of NEEDING to make things your own? Can it really be selfishness with the motive of being selfless? Is the attempt to be selfless for the sake of another entirely selfish? Are their "crosses" really ours to bear in the first place? What would really make me SO important and so strong to think that they are? Whose throne am I thrusting myself onto, to feel and act in such a way?

God desires peace for us. So that we can be better focused on sufficiently serving Him. So that we can be content in our lives with what we have. So that we can experience joy. All battles are not ours to fight, and even those that are ours to fight- They do not demand a heavyhearted reaction, but perhaps one that offers the circumstances up to Him, who can heal, who can work, who can solve beyond our wildest attempts and expectations.

Another attempt at making sense probably gone terribly askew. Felt good to get on the soapbox again, regardless.

Peace, man.

Rach

.Babies And Beaches And Mommies On Leashes.

Today was a fantastic day!

My sister Sarah stays with us for brief periods during the summer. Today was one of those days. She arrived here as I was waking up this morning. I woke up to tip toeing around the house, and shouts of joy at the rising of the sun, and the beginning of a new day coming from my beautiful baby boys room. Through barely opened eyes, I saw my dear sister walking into his room to grab him for me, and honestly thanked God for her in that moment, what a nice thought. I was already in preparations of getting out of bed, so I was obliged to let her go into our living room, and hang out on the computer for a bit while I got the bear-child ready for his breakfast.

My sister fed him breakfast as I got ready for our busy day. We had a play date previously scheduled with a close friend and her little girl, which my sister would be coming with us for.
We went to a lake about an hour away, and enjoyed nature and fun with the babies. It was beautiful. But alas it began to rain, thus ending our peaceful day at the lake abruptly. It was ok, the babies were getting restless anyway.

There is something to be said for living life spontaneously. I truly believed up until recently that there could no longer be last minute trips to New York City, or Philadelphia, or the shore. We definitely got lost at least three times today, but never severely. I enjoyed it. I forgot how much I loved going on car rides without a map- but only a destination in mind. There is some fun in not knowing EXACTLY where you are going all of the time. In not having to plan every minute of every day. I missed that. I missed waking up on any given morning, and having the world at my fingertips. For a while I believed that all of that was lost when we conceived and finally gave birth to our son. I was wrong. I am just as alive as ever. As is the rest of this world. There are of course limitations to what I can do- But never will I ever limit myself to the four corners of any room or building again for the sake of being normal, or for what any other mother would do. There are still adventures in this world for me, and even more so for my son. I intend to share them all, one city, one beach, one lake, and one lost car ride at a time : )